Clearly I'm Not Your Target Audience: The BMW x3

This is the new BMW x3. It is not an SUV. It is an SAV -- a Sports Activity Vehicle®. It is BMW's luxury crossover sports [whatever-ity] vehicle. It has a base price of $38,000. According to Edmunds, "If you're shopping for a premium, performance-oriented compact SUV -- and don't mind the stiff ride and even stiffer price of entry -- we recommend that you put the BMW X3 at the top of your short list of choices." I do not have such a short list, much less choices. It would be nice to be (independently) wealthy. Choices must be fun. If I were financially solvent and suddenly confettied with choices, I would not purchase the BMW x3, not simply because I think it's ridiculous to own (and presumably drive) an SUV SAV in the city, but now also because of this: or this: I will not deny that these are beautiful images. I almost applaud the agency responsible for these print ads, for reminding people that maybe they should take their SAV to slightly more terrain-appropriate parts of the world. I'm rather appalled, however, by the idea that one with an SAV (or any vehicle) would regard city streets as one's playground (a playground which apparently needs mixing up! Like a fun martini! Whee!). I'm also pretty sure that no one with a $40k SAV is going to be taking it to the desert ... or Peru? (I honestly can't tell where that's supposed to be, intermingled with London.) People with choices find much more clever (and local-economy-exploiting) ways to travel these days.

Reviewing the Previews: Scion's Little Deviants

I am often unable to truly enjoy movies because something offends me during the previews and I get distracted writing angry screeds in my head, and before I know it I've almost missed the opening credits (usually the best part of any film). So when HT and I decided to get to Live Free or Die Hard early so we can get a good seat, I know we're in for trouble. HT, meanwhile, is excited to catch "The Twenty." I don't have the heart to tell her that's only in Loews and we're in a Regal. [MD: Research has just proven me wrong, it is in fact only shown in Regals with digital projectors. Also, its proper name is "The 2wenty."] After watching a little animated Lego man run around Mars, we're treated to a commercial featuring animated grey "Sheeple" walking around a depressing urban landscape... suddenly, down from windows, up from the sewers, and out of the alleyways spill these tiny monstrous trolls, "the little deviants." At first, I assume it's an outgrowth of SanDisk's (largely unsuccessful) iSheep campaign, but I realize I'm wrong as a Scion pulls up and the Little Deviants start to tear the Sheeple limb from limb -- one wears a sheeperson as a skinsuit, and another throws a decapitated head on the bright-red Scion AS A HOOD ORNAMENT. Just watch below. I was so horrified and confused I was in a haze until the movie started which, all things considered, was probably for the best. To try your hand at killing Sheeple, please visit The Book of the Deviants from Scion. A car company who cares.

We Trash It Before We Try It: Summer 2007 Edition

This was supposed to be a team post about how we were deeply unenthusiastic about the new Transformers movie: based on the trailers, it looks visually messy (it's a Michael Bay film after all) and more importantly, for a film that's supposed to hearken back to this great animated series and those action figures from our childhood -- there's absolutely nothing iconic about these reimagined Transformers. Nothing. I can't even get excited about new It boy (and the film's 'human' lead) Shia LaBeouf, and he's supposed to be the friggin shiznit. But then we realized that there are so many things we enjoy dissing without even deigning to try the goods beforehand. And that seemed like an infinitely more entertaining post to write. So for you, now -- an ongoing list of that which we cannot be bothered to bother with. * Transformers 2007 * Leggings * Any of the films for which trailers were shown before the July 4th screening of Live Free or Die Hard, minus the one for the full-length Simpsons movie. Also, that Stardust movie (with DeNiro?!!) looks terrible. * the iPhone (md: i can't have it, therefore i refuse to believe it could be good) * Amy Winehouse (ht: you can't make me like her! md: she grows on you!) * The resurgence of 70s hair and 80s fashion (md: tie-dye? seriously, tie-dye?) * Fette Sau * Pinkberry (ht: I'm just bitching about the lines, really. I hate lines. And people. God, I bet Miranda July goes there. It's called Pinkberry.) * Anything going on at the McCarren Pool this summer (cf. Pinkberry. md: except the renegade craft fair, which we arguably did try. ht: and look how well that turned out.) * Men with handkerchiefs around their necks * Feist (md: you can't make me like her! ht: she and i have mutual friends! my loyalties are divided!) * Pirate Master (ht: huh?? people actually auditioned for this?) * artificial scarcity (ht, to md: wait. haven't you tried it? weren't you victim of it recently? md: oh. these are things we HAVEN'T tried. i forgot!) [image via transformers wiki page.]