6/12/2007

The Theory of Cataclysmic Fights Revisited

I tend to run into people. A lot. I know it's a New York thing but I feel like it happens to me more than to other people. For instance, I ran into HT's bff Lupe this afternoon on the train after work. She's in town from Spain for the month and BOOM there she is. It's weird, but wonderful. It makes me feel well loved and well connected. However, there is a huge caveat. The people I have had traumatic fights with just seem to disappear. It's like we simply no longer exist for each other. For instance, one intense woman and I were becoming fast friends and hanging out all the time. Then one day we had an altercation about my fear of belaying for her at an overly-crowded climbing wall and hadn't seen each other for over 6 months despite sharing friends and working in the same building. Today she was going down the escalator as I was coming up. Weird, I thought, does this mean we're at a point where we should speak again? I quickly forgot it had ever happened and went on with my day. Hours later, I am leaving Heathers after having drinks with a friend I'd "taken a break from" for three months (and not seen despite our tendency to go to the watering holes) and walking to the F train. As I near the entrance, I see my ex, Andy the Animator, a man I used to run into regularly until last summer when I ran into him sweaty and he told me I smelled. I told him to go f-ck himsef. His emotionally unavailable, asexual self. I ran past him and down onto the train platform. What's pulling these people out of the woodwork? Should I search for reconciliation or should I hide? Maybe it's time to move.

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